Not looking forward to the holidays? Don't worry i got your back!

With the season coming i understand that some of you might be less then thrilled with the gathering of psychotic family members around kegs, bottles, of liquor etc. The thought of the potential family beef rearing its ugly head on what is supposed to be the most holiest of days just makes some of us want to stay home and sit around in our underwear watching the fucking Christmas Story marathon on TNT.

Why not get yourself one of these little doo hickeys, which i must say are the coolest things i have seen in quite some time. With a belt that holds a 6pk, at least you know if anyone pisses you off you can either A. crack open a cold one and sit back. OR B. Have a full arsenal of weaponry that you can break over someone's head. (Not that you should be breaking beer bottles over family members heads or anything, that's just wrong.)

The second, is a nice little subtle touch to your every day Christmas decor for the occasional swig of happy juice when grandma just HAS TO HAVE IT HER WAY…Just casually walk by the tree and *poof* Instant happiness. Now i figure , depending on how many of the Christmas ball flasks you have hanging from your tree, and how many casual strolls you take to “admire” the tree lights, there is a chance you could take down that mother fucker when your drunk ass trips over, whatever the hell that huge $200.00 present that belongs to your little cousin. Who I'm sure is LESS then deserving, and probably will fucking break it by New Years anyway. So please….be mindful of the tree when drinking from the Christmas Ball flasks.  :D

 

Christmas Ball Flask

Beer Bottle Belt

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Happy Day Light Savings….yay!

It has finally come, November in all its glory of rotating clocks back, and sleeping in that extra hour, that strangely feels like a extra four. (or is that just me)

 

Also with November comes the American pig out fest on the last Thursday of the month. Something i am looking forward to. The fact that i work Mon-Fri and no longer have vacation left i will be UN-able to go home…which really makes me mad, BUT it is what it is, I will be working for that triple pay. :D That sounds fantastic.  JUST in time for xmas. Although i did receive a early morning txt from Roland's mom in which it said

 

“Thanksgiving at my house, i hope you like popcorn.”

Hummmmmmmmm, i wonder what she has in store for us this year.

 

           Also another thing going on this month, which is turning out to be chock full of all kinds of exciting shit, is my 2 year anniversary. I think i might buy me something really nice as a reward for making it through two full years without being thrown in jail for battery or murder. I totally deserve it.

 

       So around this time of year my mood changes for the chipper holiday spirit kind, i walk around humming merry merry Christmas and all that shit. With bells on my fucking shoes doing my best reindeer impression. (Just kidding it really doesn't go that far, BUT there are a pair of antler headbands i plan on buying) My mouth and belly ache when i think of my mom at home making home made pumpkin filled empanadas. So i found a recipe on the interwebs that i thought i would share with you just in case you wanted to make some and mail them to me. :D

 

Pumpkin Empanadas

1 c. cooked mashed pumpkin
1/4 c. firmly packed light brown sugar
1/4 c. raisins
1/4 c. chopped nuts
1 tsp. pumpkin pie spice
2 c. unsifted flour
1 tsp. baking powder
1/2 c. Mazola butter
6 to 7 tbsp. cold water
1 qt. (about) Mazola corn oil
2 tbsp. confectioners' sugar
1/2 tsp. ground cinnamon

 

In bowl stir together first five ingredients. In another bowl mix flour and baking powder with pastry blender or 2 knives. Cut in butter until coarse crumbs form. Sprinkle water over mixture while tossing to blend well. Divide in thirds.

On lightly floured surface roll each out to 1/16 to 1/8 thickness, cut in 3 inch circles. Spoon about 1/2 teaspoon pumpkin mixture onto lower half of each circle. Moisten edge. Fold top half over filling. Seal well with foil.

Pour corn oil into heavy saucepan (3 quart) filling no more than 1/3 full. Heat over medium heat to 375 degrees F. Carefully add empanadas, a few at a time. Fry, turning once, 5 to 7 minutes, or until golden. Drain on paper towels.

Mix sugar and cinnamon. Sprinkle over empanadas. Makes about 3 dozen.

ommmm nom nom nom nom

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